The Creative World of Willow Raevynwood

An Authentic Life: A Key to Happiness

By Willow Moondragon Raevynwood

From the moment we are born, we are placed under a microscope. Society and media pressures keep us in their crosshairs. Even our parents, all though well intentioned, tend to place a great deal of pressure on us. As we get older, we fall victim to peer pressure in order to fit in. We see images in magazine and on television that tell us that conformity is the only way to happiness.

However, I find that to be untrue. As we try our hardest to conform to what our peers, society, the media, and our parents want, we often lose ourselves in the process. We start wearing masks in order to fit in. We hide our quirks in fear that they would lead us being labeled as a freak.

Many of us don’t realize the damage that this has caused until much later in life. I believe this to be the root cause of what is known as "the mid-life crisis" or even "identity crisis" We spend most our lives trying to conform and throwing things that don’t conform into a tight little box that we hide away deep inside ourselves. Little by little we start to realize that we aren’t living our life any longer. Then over the course of time, the items we threw into this box demand our attention and the lid pops off. This results in a process of self-awareness. We have to look at ourselves with honesty. We seek to finally live an authentic life, not a life that was influenced by others but one formed by our own will, dreams, and desires.

You don’t have to wait until the lid pops off the box and the contents come oozing out in order to begin leading an authentic life. I won’t lie to you. This process can be painful and frightening. You may experience anger and sadness when you shine the light on the compromises you’ve made to your dreams in the pursuit of conformity.

The first step is you have to open up that box and face those "freakish" things that you’ve tried to hide. However, you don’t have to fear those things in the box. They were always part of you and were always there. All you have to do is acknowledge their existence and see what you can learn from them. It’s time to stop worrying about what the neighbors, your co-workers, your friends, and your faith may think. This is your life and you are meant to live it to its fullest potential. You are the only you there is and you owe it to yourself and the world to let your true, authentic self shine and to let your "Freak Flag" fly. As the late, great Mama Cass once sang, "make your own kind of music even if nobody else sings along." I can guarantee you that by living an authentic life, one that is free of masks and illusions, you will find there are others that will sing along because they will see the joy and light you bring into this world.

To borrow the words of Elpheba from Wicked in the song, "Defying Gravity", it’s time to trust your instincts, close your eyes, and leap. It’s time to defy gravity. Strip away the masks and the weight of unwanted, unneeded, non-serving energy and allow yourself to soar. Again, you owe it to yourself and to the world. Many blessings and safe journey! Just remember to be true to yourself.

Railroad Flat

Written by C.J. Burns

06/02/11

Joey turned his Chevy Equinox off the SR 140 when he spotted the Briceburg Vistor Center. In front of him lay the Briceburg Bridge. As he drove over the bridge, he looked up to the sky. He would have just enough time to get to Railroad Flat Campground and set up his tent before darkness set in. He would have been there sooner but there were delays on both Highway 99 and 140. Joey carefully navigated his car along the rocky dirt road. Since the road was only big enough for one car, Joey had to keep a watchful eye out for any oncoming traffic. People leaving the campgrounds tend to tear out of there at high speeds.

He scanned the campsites at Willow Placer as he passed. He had no interest in camping there but wanted to see how many tents were set up to gauge how busy the weekend would be. He was happy to see only a few tents. Willow Placer tends to fill up quickly since it is the first campground after crossing the Briceburg Bridge. Willow Placer also has 7 walk-in tent sites as opposed to Railroad Flat’s 3 tent sites. Due to the number of tent sites at Willow Placer, it is often used by adventurous couples for their wedding ceremony and honeymoon. Joey preferred the solitude of Railroad Flat. He also enjoyed the easy access to the Merced River from Railroad Flat.

Originally, his boyfriend Tom was supposed to join him on this camping trip. Unfortunately, Tom was called by his work the night before and was asked to work that weekend. Since Tom was new to the company, he gave in. Joey had wanted to postpone the trip but Tom said that Joey should go and enjoy some quiet time. This would be his first time camping alone. It was difficult for Joey to make up his mind as to whether he would camp at Railroad Flat or go to Lumsden Bridge along the Tuolumne River. He and Tom have only camped at Railroad Flat once before, whereas; they have camped numerous times at the Lumsden campgrounds. Since this was going to be a first time for Joey, he decided to make it an adventure and camp at Railroad Flat.

Joey rounded a bend and there it was, the sign announcing Railroad Flat. Joey turned left into the parking lot. He parked the car and walked to site 31 to evaluate its condition. Site 31 was the same campsite that he and Tom had used before. It had a spectacular view of the river. It was also hemmed in by overgrown brush and poison oak making it more private and secure than the other sites in the campground. The access to the river was also easy which was important since neither Railroad Flat nor Willow Placer had any potable water for drinking or cleaning. The nearest clean, drinking water was back at the visitor’s center. So, you either had to pack it all in with you or use the river. Joey had brought all the drinking water he would need but would have to use the river for bathing and cleaning any cookware and dishes.

He did a quick scan of the campground. The campground was completely vacant. For a moment, Joey experienced nervousness at being the only one in the campground. He pushed that feeling aside and focused on the adventure ahead of him. He used a trick learned from Bear Grylls on Man vs. Wild and determined that he may have an hour before the sun dips behind the mountains. He would need to set up camp quickly.

Joey unpacked the Equinox and set all the camping gear on the wooden picnic table. He cleared the area, where he would be setting up the little 2-person tent, of any debris that would make it uncomfortable for him to sleep. He grabbed the sack containing the tent off the picnic table and set to work. He was having difficulty getting the tent setup and was starting to get frustrated. Setting up tents with 2 people is definitely much easier, he thought to himself.

“You look like you could use a hand.” A voice behind him said, startling Joey and causing him to visibly jump. Joey whirled around and saw a handsome park ranger. The ranger was trying hard not to laugh at Joey’s reaction.

“Sorry, sir, didn’t mean to startle you. Need some help?” The young park ranger walked towards Joey and the half set up tent.

“I didn’t hear you come up the road. So you took me by surprise.” Joey hoped the ranger didn’t notice that he was blushing from embarrassment. “Sure, I’ll take some help.”

“I just came from the ranger station up the road on the other side of the camp. I’m on my way to Willow Placer. So that’s why you didn’t hear my truck. I saw your car and figured I’d stop in to say hello.” The ranger had the tent up in no time and Joey was dumb-struck at how easy he made it look.

“Also, I noticed that you hadn’t paid the camping fees.” The ranger wiped his dusty hands on the back of his pants.

“Oh, sorry about that! I wanted to get my tent up before I lost the light. It’s $10 per night right?” The ranger answered in the affirmative as Joey reached for his wallet. Joey pulled out 3 ten dollar bills and handed it to the ranger. “I’ll be here for tonight, tomorrow night, Sunday night, and pulling up stakes on Monday morning.” The ranger took the cash and pulled out a receipt pad. He wrote out Joey’s receipt and instructed Joey to place it in his car on the dashboard.

“Are you camping alone?” The ranger inquired.

“Yes. My boyfriend was supposed to join me but he had to work this weekend.” Joey watched the rangers face to see what reaction the use of the word, “boyfriend”, would have. The ranger was completely unfazed.

“This will be my first time camping alone.” Joey added.

“Well, so far, other than myself and 2 other rangers, you really will be alone. There is nobody else at any of the other campgrounds.”

“I thought I had seen some tents in Willow Placer as I drove in.” Joey said.

“You did but I had set those up. A buddy of mine is getting married tomorrow and they are having the wedding reception here since this is where he met his wife-to-be. He asked me to setup the tents to keep people from taking over the entire camp. So, yep, you’re totally alone. Well, I better get going.” The ranger started back toward the parking lot.

“I’ll follow you so I can put this on my dashboard” Joey accompanied the ranger back to the parking lot. As the ranger got back in his truck, Joey unlocked the car and put the receipt on his dashboard.

“If you run into any trouble out here, I’ll be at Willow Placer all night. My name is Chris. See you around.” Joey thanked Ranger Chris for his help and walked back toward Site 31. From site 31 you can see up the road a few hundred feet. He watched as the ranger truck made its way toward Willow Placer. Joey was now completely alone, even more so than he had originally thought.

Joey’s stomach began to rumble, however, trying to set up the tent left him covered in sweat and dirt. Before he could even think of eating, he would need to clean up. He grabbed a towel out of the pack containing his clothes and walked down to the river to wash up. The river was swollen from recent snow runoff. He stripped down completely and stepped into the water. The brisk coldness of the water was invigorating. Once he felt sufficiently clean, he walked back to the bank and toweled off.

“I guess that’s one benefit of being entirely alone. I can be as naked as I please.” Joey thought to himself as he walked back toward the camp without a stitch of clothing on except for the towel hanging over his shoulders.

Back at camp he noticed that somebody had moved into Site 28. Joey quickly wrapped the towel around his waist. The person in Site 28 was an older man and he appeared to be camping alone. He was in the process of chopping up firewood.

“He must have arrived as I was bathing in the river. I wonder if he saw me?” Joey thought and figured that it was no use in worrying about it since you don’t have a clear view of the river from Site 28.

As the sun was about to tuck itself behind the mountains, Joey put on some warmer clothing in preparation for the chill that would come. Since it was only him on this camping trip, he didn’t see any point picking up actual firewood. Instead, he opted for Duraflame logs. He lit one of the logs. He opened up the pack that contained the canned foods and decided that he would have a can of baked beans for dinner. He set up the propane stove and cooked the beans in the can over the burner. While he was waiting for the beans to get hot, he noticed that the man in Site 28 hadn’t set up a tent.

“He must be planning to sleep in the bed of his truck.” Joey watched as the man milled around the campsite before grabbing the axe and returning to chopping his firewood. The man was making Joey a little apprehensive. While it was nice to have someone else in Railroad Flat, there seemed to be something odd about this man. Joey couldn’t put his finger on why he thought the man was odd. Once again, he pushed his concerns aside as he placed a camping chair around the fire ring. The beans were ready. Joey put on a pair of thick gloves in order to keep his hands safe and started to eat.

After he ate, he decided to open a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon that he had brought along. Joey and Tom always had wine when they went camping. He poured himself a glass and slowly sipped the wine as he started into the flames. He looked up a few times to see what the man in Site 28 was doing. The man had started a fire. He was sitting next to the fire and was clearly mesmerized by the flame. Joey pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to see what time it was. There was no reception but he could use it to keep track of time. He also planned to use it as an alarm clock since he would need to leave around 7 am on Monday. You can also make emergency calls even if there isn’t any reception. So, the cell phone served as a security blanket. It was nearly 11 at night. Joey yawned. He dowsed the fire and crawled into the tent. He stripped down and crawled into his sleeping bag. He was dozing in no time.

Joey woke with a start. Something was rustling around outside the tent. He was frozen with fear. He laid there, perfectly still, listening as whatever it was walked around the tent. Was it an animal? Was it the weird man in Site 28? Was it Ranger Chris? Joey’s mind raced at the possibilities but he remained still. He didn’t want to give who or what was out there any indication that he had woken up. He broke out in a cold sweat as it continued to walk slowly around the tent.

Before falling asleep, he had pulled the hatchet out of the gear pack and placed it under his pillow. Normally Tom would be the one with the hatchet under his pillow to keep it close by just in case. Joey, slowly, moved his arm out of the sleeping bag and slid his hand under the pillow. He gripped the handle of the hatchet tightly. Whatever was outside must have detected Joey’s movement because the movement outside stopped. It stopped right by the corner of the tent where Joey’s head laid. Seconds past in silence but those seconds felt like hours.

“Have a good night.” A man’s gravelly voice said right at ground level from outside the tent. It was as if the man was laying on the ground right next to Joey with only the fabric of the tent separating them.

Joey’s heart was pounding out of his chest. The man knew exactly where Joey was laying and had spoken almost right in his ear. Joey gripped the handle of the hatchet tighter. Joey laid there in fear for 10 long minutes. Was the man still out there? If so, what was he doing? What did he plan to do? There was no sound of movement after the voice. Did the man outside slip away silently? There was no way since the ground around the tent was littered with leaves, twigs and rocks that Joey had cleared from the tent area earlier.

Finally mustering up the courage, he sat up and unzipped the tent windows a little bit in order to find out if the man was still there. His hands were shaking. Hell, his whole body was shaking. Joey had never felt this much fear in his life. He expected to see someone face to face with him as he looked out the window…but there was no one. No one was outside the tent.

Joey got out of the sleeping bag and slowly got dressed. His knees were jelly and adrenaline was coursing through is body. He unzipped the door to the tent and stepped outside. In order to not disturb any possible footprints around the tent, which he resolved to investigate in the morning, he just scanned Site 31 to verify that no one was there and that nothing was missing. Joey concluded that there was nothing missing and definitely no one in the campsite. He trained his eyes toward Site 28. The man and his truck were gone.

Just to be safe, Joey decided to spend the rest of the night in the car. With the hatchet in hand, he walked up the trail that led to the parking lot. His eyes darted about as he walked. He reached the car, unlocked it, got inside, locked it, and set the car alarm. Due to the adrenaline in his body subsiding, Joey’s body shut down and he fell asleep.

Joey woke with the sun shining brightly into the car. He deactivated the alarm, unlocked the door, stepped out, locked the car, and walked back to his campsite. As he walked down the trail, he looked to Site 28. The man was definitely gone. When he arrived at Site 31, he carefully investigated the area around the tent. There was no sign that anybody had walked around his tent. The only shoe or footprints in the dirt were his own. Nothing was disturbed. Every leave, every stone, every twig was exactly as it was when he had cleared the tent area. How could this be?

Joey heard the sound of an engine. Down the road, he could see a ranger truck heading his way. He ran up the trail toward the road and flagged down the ranger. It was Ranger Chris.

“Good Morning,” greeted Ranger Chris but then he noticed Joey’s appearance. “Whoa! What’s wrong? You’re as pale as a sheet. Did you have a rough night?”

Joey recounted the events of the night to Ranger Chris. Ranger Chris parked the car and walked with Joey to Site 31 to investigate. Just as Joey had found, there was no indication that anybody was there other than him.

“Did you see any shadows as this man was walking around your tent?” Ranger Chris added, “You should’ve seen shadows against your tent since last night was the Full Moon.”

“No, there were no shadows,” answered Joey.

“Joey, I can guarantee you that after I left you yesterday evening that I didn’t leave Willow Placer. I was in my truck the whole night and nobody went past me at any point. As I said yesterday, you were completely alone.”

“But there was a man in a truck that was in Site 28? He arrived about 20 minutes after I saw you yesterday evening.” Joey pointed up to Site 28.

“Sorry Joey, that isn’t possible. Nobody went past me at all.”

“Couldn’t you have fallen asleep?” Joey said but then saw the look on Ranger Chris’ face, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that you aren’t good at your job. I just can’t make any sense of this. The man was there. He had a truck. He chopped firewood. He lit a fire and sat by it.”

“Let’s go check out Site 28.” Ranger Chris suggested and Joey agreed. They walked over to Site 28 and investigated.

“Well, there’s no indication that anybody was at this site last night. The fire pit is clean so there was no fire. There aren’t any wood chips which would usually be on the ground if someone were chopping firewood with an axe.” Ranger Chris looked at Joey who had a blank expression on his face. “It sounds to me like you were visited by Old Zeke.”

“I thought you said I was all alone in the park aside from you and the other rangers?!” Joey was exasperated.

“And you were. You see Old Zeke used to be a park ranger here. He loved Railroad Flat campground. He would often camp here when he had time off.” Ranger Chris said but he could see that Joey didn’t understand how he could’ve been alone last night if Old Zeke had been here. “Joey, Old Zeke died 10 years ago. His grave is only a few yards away from here.” Ranger Chris pointed across the road. Joey followed Chris’ hand and saw that there was a grave about 15 feet off the side of the road. Joey walked over to the grave.

“Here lies Old Ezekiel Crawford. He loved this park with all his heart, body, and soul. May he rest in peace in his favorite place on Earth” was written on the headstone.

“We have had some reports of unusual happenings here in Railroad Flat ever since Zeke died.”

“So a ghost told me to have a good night?” Joey was trying to wrap his mind around what Ranger Chris was telling him.

“That’s correct, Joey. If you don’t mind, I’m an aspiring writer. Can I write down your experience?” Ranger Chris pulled out a small spiral bound note pad and a pen out of the breast pocket of his shirt. “I’ve been writing down Old Zeke encounters since I started here.”

The Creative World of Willow Raevynwood

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Getting back on the wagon!

Monday, June 27, 2011

An Authentic Life

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Stop procrastinating!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

And the Winner Is!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Thanks to Daphne and Jodi!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Creativity Challenge #1

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Railroad Flat by C.J. Burns

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